Reporter on TV: It's absolute chaos out here as Tightassed Conservative Businessman and Flamingly Gay Liberal Activist once again do battle for no clear discernable reason. Oh the horror!
Pack-It-In Man: We've got to do something!
Pack-It-In Man rushes into Rod's room.
Pack-It-In Man: Rod we need to...AGH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Rod hides his cock.
Rod: Nothing! Nothing! Go away!
Pack-It-In Man: Rod, why are you watching a fishing show?!
Rod: I said go away!
Pack-It-In Man leaves.
Rod: Oh god oh yes yes!
Pack-It-In Man: Hi Pack-It-In Dog! WHO'S MY MAN? WHO'S MY WITTLE MAN? (Pets dog)
Pack-It-In Dog barks and starts to hump his leg.
Pack-It-In Man: Ugh, stop. (Lets dog into Rod's room)
Rod: (Through the door) Oh oh oh oh GOD YES!
Audience laughs.
Pack-It-In Man: Rod we have a serious problem! Tightassed Conservative Businessman and Flamingly Gay Liberal Activist are fighting and destroying the city! We must stop them!
Rod: Should I bring the jizz cannon?
Pack-It-In Man: Umm, you can remove it?
Rod: No no no, I mean the giant weapon I built yesterday!
Pack-It-In Man But of course! Come Pack-It-In Dog! To the Pack-It-In Mobile!
Spinning cock animation as scene switches.
Tightassed Conservative Businessman: You hippie! I'll destroy you!
Flamingly Gay Liberal Activist: Never! I'll chain myself to your office door and protest!
Pack-It-In Man: Oh my god, they are about to destroy the nudie bar! Jizz cannon fire!
Rod presses a button, firing an enormous load onto both of them.
Both fall over dead.
Pack-It-In Man: Where the hell did you get that much jizz?!
Rod: Oh it's a secret (Imagines himself jerking off into a vat)
Pack-It-In Man: Nevermind. Pack-It-In Dog! Clean up this mess!
Pack-It-In Dog licks it up.
Pack-It-In Man: Hey whats over there?!
Swings around, knocking over an old lady with his enormous cock.
Pack-It-In Man: Sorry.
Rod: It's our arch nemesis! Suck-It-Off Woman!
Suck-It-Off Woman: Bwahahaha! You may have stopped my diversion! But you'll never stop me! Prepare to face my battle squad! Jizz girls attack!
Battle ensues in the style of the old batman TV show, with words like "Splurch!" and "Jizzum!" as the sound effects.
After the battle the jizz girls are all stuck to the ground in a mess of hardened jizz.
Suck-It-Off Woman: I didn't want to resort to this! Cock monster attack!
What looks like a rhino, but is a grey cock with rhino legs, appears.
Cock Monster: ROAAARR!
The monster jumps on Pack-It-In Man.
Rod: Oh no! I must save him! But how...
Rod suddenly remembers himself whacking off to fishing TV shows.
Fisherman on TV: And then you put the line in the spinner bait, but watch out, that line can really cut your dick.
Rod: That's it!
Rod whips out SPIDERWIRE fishing line and ties a lead dildo to the end of it. He then flings it over the monster and runs around. Finally he throws the weight under the monster, and ties a knot and tugs hard.
Cock Monster: RAAAAAAAAIE!!
The line cuts it in half. Rod spins the dildo in his hand like a gun from an old west film and blows the top of it.
Suck-It-Off Woman: Damn you, I'll be back! (Runs away)
Rod: Awww, she got away!
Pack-It-In Man: That's ok Rod. At least the town is safe...for now.
Rod: But who's going to give us head now?
Pack-It-In Man: I don't know Rod. I just...don't know.
Back at the Pack-It-In Cave...
Pack-It-In Man: Ahh, nothing like coming home to the cave after a hard day of fighting villains.
Rod: You said it.
Pack-It-In Man turns the TV on.
Pack-It-In Man: Now to enjoy some..fishing?! Rod! What have I told you about that?
Rod: I was just watching it for fun, I swear!
Pack-It-In Man: Something smells fishy...
Audience laughs at the terrible pun.
Rod: ...Well I had to fill that jizz cannon somehow...
Pack-It-In Man: (Oblivious to Rod) Women's tennis! Alright!
Announcer: We interrupt this game of women's tennis for a special bulletin.
Pack-It-In Man: Aww dammit.
Announcer: We now go to Bob for on site reporting. Bob-
Bob: It's really horrible. It appears to be a gigantic radioactive cock with legs, destroying the nearby suburb, Pack-It-In-Ville. People are screaming and running for their lives!
Pack-It-In Man: Looks like a job for...
To be continued...
