Ash: Hey Misty, there's a party in my pants and you're invited!
Misty: Ewwwwww! Dammit Ash! Shut up!
Brock: According to this map, we need to go through Mt. Moon to get to Cerulean City so Ash can get his next badge. Hey why are we helping him anyway?
Misty: I'm following him until he pays me for my bike.
Ash: I want to repay you, but you always refuse!
Misty: Sex is not repayment!
Ash: Where the hell did you get that map anyway?
Brock: I...don't know. Now that's freaky.
Misty: Like you'd see where you picked it up with those slits you call eyes.
Brock: Hey! I never once called them eyes!
Misty: I'm tired. Let's sit down and eat.
Ash: If you want any of my special sauce, just ask.
Misty: No thank you. I'll just have a hot dog.
Ash: Coming right up heheheh.
Misty: Eww Ash no!
Brock: Hmmm, if I can get them to have sex I could make a fortune in the kiddie porn market.
Brock: You know Misty, doctors say it's unhealthy to remain a virgin for too long.
Misty: Who said I was a virgin?
Brock and Ash fall down.
Misty: Whoever it was, was right!
Ash: Well Misty, you heard the man, lets get to it!
Misty: Brock is so full of it. Bleh! Well I'm done with my hot dog, lets get going.
Eventually the trio reaches Mt. Moon.
Ash: Wow, Mt. Moon sure looks boring. It's just an ugly brown hunk of rock.
Misty: Ash it's what's on the inside that counts.
Ash: (Salivating) I couldn't agree more...
Misty: Ash are you on hormone pills today or something?
Brock: She's onto the hormonal supplements I've been planting in his food! Shit!
Ash: Jesus Christ. I feel like I could shampoo a buffalo with my jizz.
Person Inside: Help help!
They run inside to find a nerdy looking professor being attacked by Zubats.
Professor: I am not nerdy.
He shouldn't have been able to hear that.
Ash: Pikachu, shock those zubats!
Pikachu: (Zaps the zubats)
Zubats: (
Professor: Thank you so much! My name is Seymour!
Ash: You're...welcome...dammit that in no way helped me serve my dark ambitions.
Misty: There are more important things than you, you self centered twit!
Ash: Mmmmm, tit-I mean-twit...
Misty: (Eyes Brock suspiciously)
Brock: I swear I'm not trying to get Ash to rape you so I can video tape it and put it up on animelolitarapesex.com and make millions!
Misty: Well all right then.
Seymour: I'll guide you through the cave.
Ash: All right then. Now you're useful.
Misty: Why are there so many injured pokémon around here?
Seymour: Trainers from around the world come to Mt. Moon in search of the mysterious moon stone. It is said that such a stone would grant a pokémon tremendous power.
Ash: I gotta have it! Pikachu, don't stop killing until you find the moon stone!
Brock: Ash, no!
Misty: He'll never learn.
Ash: Who the hell decided that killing was wrong anyways...
Brock: What are those?!
A group of clefairies march past them.
Ash: Let's follow!
They follow the clefairies into a big room with a stone in the center.
Clefairies: (Dance)
Ash: Why the hell are they dancing?
Seymour: The clefairy worship the moon stone!
Ash: Wow, they sure are stupid! I'm going to catch one!
Seymour: No you mustn't! They are rare, and endangered!
Ash: ...so it's ok to catch a pokémon only if it isn't rare? Why is that?
Seymour: Because if the endangered pokémon are all taken away, it might affect the ecosystem drastically.
Ash: But if there are only a few anyway how can they have much of an effect anyway?
Seymour: They just do.
Ash: But-
Seymour: (Insane look in his eyes) They just DO!
Ash: Ok, ok...
Explosion. Team Rocket flies into the distance.
Team Rocket: Team Rocket is blasting off again!
Misty: Wow, we didn't even have to try that time.
Brock: Whoah, WAAAAY too much LSD that time.
Ash: No Brock, I see it too. The moon stone is glowing!
Clefairy evolve into Clefable.
Ash: Dammit I wish I could catch just one.
Seymour guides them to the outside of the cave.
Misty: So long Seymour. Thanks for your help.
Brock: Yeah, bye.
Ash: I don't know why you have to be so nice to that guy.
Misty: Let's just say he gave me something very special. (Lights up a cigarette)
Brock: (Patting his video camera) Gonna make millions...
And so the trio ventures off to do some other stuff.
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