Ash and Misty finally happen across Pewter city after a long journey.
Ash: My dark ambitions shall be realized!
Misty: Hey, a giant rock!
Ash: Umm, Misty, are rocks usually brown and *sniff* *sniff* stinky?
Misty: Sure they are! (Sits down with a squish)
Man: Excuse me, but you're sitting on my merchandise.
Ash: Merchandise?
Man: That's right. These are souveneirs!
Misty: What are they? (Patting the surface of the "rock")
Man: Onix droppings.
Misty screams and passes out.
Ash: So who are you?
Man: I'm Flint. I'm not Brock's father I swear!
Ash: What?
Flint: Brock is the gym leader here. You'll have to defeat him and seven others to get into the Pokemon League.
Ash: And you're his father?
Flint: No! No! I swear that was just a one night stand!
Pikachu: Pika... (What an ass...)
Misty wakes up.
Misty: Droppings?! Ewwww. Why would anyone buy them?
Flint: Now you know why I am dressed like a bum. Nobody does.
Later, at the local Pokemon gym...
Ash: I'm here to challenge you Brock!
The doors slam open.
Brock: You can never win. I'm saying this without knowing anything about you. It shows that I am absolutely confident of my ability to defeat any opponent. Doesn't that make me cool?
Misty: Ahh! Pikachu!
Pikachu is humping Misty's leg.
Ash: No! Bad Pikachu! (Sprays pikachu with a water bottle)
Pikachu: Pika! (Bah!)
Brock: Hahaha. Your pokémon is poorly trained. I can tell because it likes to hump. That makes no sense, but that's what makes me cool.
Ash: Pikachu go!
Pikachu: Pika!
Brock: Graveler go!
Graveler falls on Pikachu, instantly winning the battle.
Ash: Noooooo! How can he serve my dark ambitions now?!
Brock: Hahaha! You'll never beat me!
Ash: I'll be back!
Outside of the gym...
Ash: Dammit! How can I beat him?
Flint: I think I can help you. But first let me tell you about Brock.
Ash: I don't care.
Flint: Shut up and listen. A long time ago, his good for nothing father...
Ash: You mean you?
Flint: No! His father ran out on him, leaving his mother to take care of the entire family.
Ash: Wow you're a really shitty father!
Flint: It wasn't me dammit! After a while the mother died of an illness, and now Brock takes care of all of his siblings.
Ash: I mean god damn, how could you do something so horrible?
Flint: How many times do I have to say it?! I'm not Brock's father!
Ash: Riiiiiiight. Anyway, how can I beat him?
Flint: Come with me.
Later, by a hydroelectric plant...
Ash: I don't know if I should trust the advice of a man who abandoned his family.
Flint: It wasn't me! Anyway, all you have to do is hook Pikachu up to the generator and push the mill with your feet and you'll be set!
Ash: Ok! (Does so.)
Pikachu: Pika! Pika!
Ash: Be strong Pikachu! This is for your own good!
Misty: You know Ash, you could borrow some of my pokémon and win easily! (Translation: You know Ash, you can do me anytime!)
Ash: I don't need your help! (Translation: I'm gay.)
Misty: Fine! (Translation: I'll just take care of myself in the bathroom!) (Storms off)
A huge portal opens up above the plant. Four people fall off.
Quinn: How long are we on this world?
Wade: 2 seconds!
Professor: Well lets go!
Another portal opens up, and they all jump in. The portal then disappears.
Ash: (Stares in utter shock.) What the hell?
Flint: Oh that's nothing. He's almost charged up!
Ash: Quiet child abuser!
Later at Brock's gym...
Ash: I'm baa-aack!
Brock: Come to lose again?! Your pikachu is crap!
Ash: We'll see! Pikachu go!
Brock: Graveler go!
Pikachu shocks it to death before it even leaves the pokéball.
Brock: Your pikachu is stronger than it was before. But I have an even stronger pokémon that could beat it easily. I mean, I don't even have to try with this one. It's so powerful that it's a joke to think about the Pikachu even hurting it! I mean really it's...
Ash: Just use it already!
Brock: Onix, go!
A giant Onix appears.
Ash: Pikachu, uhh, do the thing, that the electricity gave you. The thing, damn you, the thing!
Pikachu dances.
Ash: No you idiot, shock it!
Pikachu shocks Onix, but to no avail.
Water from a mysterious source covers Onix.
Pikachu shocks it again, and defeats it.
Brock: Ok Ash, you win. Here's the badge. But I can't come with you. My good for nothing father left me to take care of all my siblings.
Flint: (From somewhere far away) I'm not your father dammit!
Brock: Riiiight.
Flint: (Walks in) I'm actually your much older brother.
Brock: ...brother?!
Flint: Yeah, but I'll take care of the kids from now on. You go ahead.
Brock: Thanks da-I mean brother!
They hug. Flint pops a stiffy.
Brock: Uhhh, I gotta go now...
Flint: Why?
Brock: Uhhh, a... really... good reason. C'mon Ash.
Brock drags Ash away into the sunset, away from Flint and "little Flint".
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