Caterpie evolves into Metapod.
Ash: Wow! Cool! Ok, into the pokéball.
Misty: (Sighs)
Ash: (Singing) I'm the greatest master! I'm the best master! Oh yeah! Great great great!
Misty: Where's my gun...
A mysterious samurai pops from the bushes and holds a sword to Ash's jugular.
Mysterious Samurai: Halt!
Ash: Who the hell are you?
Mysterious Samurai: I am called Cream of Sumyungi. You can just call me Mr. Cream.
Ash: You're here to rape my pokémon aren't you?!
Mr. Cream: I am no pokémon rapist! I am here to challenge you to a battle. Go Metapod!
Metapod flies out of the pokéball.
Ash: Oh yeah?! I have one too! Go Metapod!
Metapod flies out of the pokéball.
Misty: Ok, now you both have to close your eyes, spin three times, and walk for 5 seconds.
Ash: Uhhh, why?
Misty: That's the rule!
Mr. Cream: Ok...
Ash and Mr. Cream close their eyes, spin three times, and walk for 5 seconds.
Ash: Ugh, I feel dizzy!
Mr. Cream: Me too. Hey, which Metapod is mine?!
Ash: Let's see...this one is the strongest one, so it must be mine!
Mr. Cream: Bullshit!
Misty: I know how we can tell!
Ash and Mr. Cream: How?!
Misty: Mr. Cream, you say you are not a pokémon rapist, but would you please bend over?
Mr. Cream: (Sighs and bends over)
Misty: Ooh, nice ass!
Ash: Misty!
Misty: Ok ok, here, just call out its name.
Ash: Metapod come here! Here boy!
Metapod doesn't move, as it has no legs.
Ash: Well shit. Here, let's both just take one and not worry about it ok?
Mr. Cream: Alright fine.
Suddenly a swarm of Beedrill descend upon them.
Ash: Holy shit! Why are they attacking?
Mr. Cream: John Romero asked if they would model for Daikatana 2!
Misty: Dear God!
Mr. Cream grabs his metapod and runs.
Ash: Ahh, he'll be fine. Metapod, attack!
The beedrill fly off with Metapod.
Ash: Shit!
Misty: Ash, c'mon! Run!
They all run away to a cave.
Meanwhile...
Romero: Have you brought me the Metapod?
Beedrill: Yes sir!
Romero: Excellent! All is going according to plan! I will destroy the first person shooter gaming market with Daikatana 2! Daikatana wasn't bad enough, I must make it worse! Shit, I better order more green lights for the cutscenes.
Beedrill: Make Metapod easy, but take twenty minutes to kill, and make his death necessary to proceed through the game!
Romero: Yes! Bwahahahahaha!
Back with our "heroes"...
Ash: I can't believe I left Metapod! We must rescue him!
Misty: Ash, no!
Mr. Cream: You can never defeat John Romero! He is...like a monster! Once good, his heart is now the blackest evil in existence!
Ash: Romero will not win! I must be the only pure evil! My evil ambitions shall be realized! Bwahahahahaha!
Misty: He's delusional.
Mr. Cream: I know.
Ash: Shut up! I'm going, stay behind if you like.
Misty: With pleasure.
Ash runs into the forest in search of Metapod, only to be caught in a trap hole in the ground!
Ash: Shit! Who put this here?!
Suddenly the beedrill descend upon him and sting him until he is unconscious.
Ash wakes up in a small clearing in the forest, tied to a tree.
Ash: What the hell?! Where am I?
Suddenly Romero appears.
Romero: Oh hello. I am making a sequel to the incredible FPS Daikatana. And you will model as a new character, he will be called... CAPTAIN FIDDLESTICKS!
Ash: Dear God no!
Romero pulls out some cameras and PC.
Romero: Let's get started shall we? Bwahahahaha!
Ash: Ahhhhhhhh!
Back with the other two "heroes"...
Mr. Cream: I'm telling you Misty, this won't work!
Misty: Sure it will! All I have to do is get Romero to thing he's going to get to score with me, and then I shove this (Pulls out a normal looking dildo) up his ass!
Mr. Cream: And what if he likes it?
Misty: That's why I have this! (Pulls out a remote control with a button and presses the button, causing a series of spikes to emerge from the end of the dildo)
Mr. Cream: Ouch! Alright, if you think it will work...
Back at Romero's clearing...
Ash: Nooo! Help!
Romero: Your model is almost complete! Bwahahaha!
Suddenly Misty appears.
Misty: Ooh, Mr. Romero, you're so hot and sexy! Will you do me, please?!
Romero is naked faster than Misty knew possible, and tries to go down on Misty.
Misty shoves the dildo in.
Romero: Agh, ooh! Kinky!
Misty presses the button.
Romero: Ahhh! Ahh, ahh, ahhh, ohh yeah baby! Oh God yes!
Misty: Oh my God you like that?!
Mr. Cream: Time for plan B!
Mr. Cream runs out of the woods and rams a pike through Romero's skull.
Misty: Now why didn't I think of that?
Mr. Cream: Because you're a dumb bitch.
Misty: Shut the hell up!
Ash: Hahahaha! Hey untie me dammit!
Mr. Cream unties Ash.
Ash: Hey my Metapod is by that tree! Kick ass!
Mr. Cream slips with the pike and cuts the Metapod open.
Ash: God dammit! You killed it!
Mr. Cream: No I didn't! Look!
A butterfree emerges from the metapod shell.
Ash: Alright! A butterfree!
Suddenly the swarm of beedrill arrive.
Beedrill: Oh my God! You killed Romero! You bastards! We will kill you all!
Ash: Butterfree, do your, ummm, oh God dammit...
Misty: Ash use the stun spore!
Ash: Right! Butterfree, stun spore!
Butterfree does stun spore, and kills all of the beedrill.
Mr. Cream: Why did stun spore kill them?
Ash: I dunno, but I like it!
Mr. Cream: Well Ash, it's been fun, but I must leave. Perhaps we'll battle again someday. But right now I have a lot of dick to suck, so bye! (Runs off)
Ash: Did he just say that...
Misty: ...he had a lot of dick to suck?
And so ends another wacky adventure! What will happen next time?! Wait and see!
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